Description

Comedy script to be used for graduation service for youth or young adult group

Cast: Can be any number If possible use opposite sex of person as “reality” person
Host, (sleazy game show/salesperson type)
Offstage voices can be live or taped

Costume: “car salesman” type clothing for host

Sample of script:

Host comes on stage to chorus of “Champion”, audience applause, whistling, etc.

Host: Thank you, thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Yes, yes, yes, here we are the big day has finally arrived! Today is the day when we . . . . (drum roll) . . . honor our . . . (another drum roll which goes on and on, host smiles nervously, tries making off-stage motions for the drummer to stop, all to no avail, finally screams out:)
. . ENOUGH ALREADY!
(drummer stops, one final short drum roll, host glares off-stage, regains composure, smiles sickening smile) Now where were we . . ah yes, the day when we honor . . . (drummer makes one sound, host shows Barney Fife judo position) I said . . . honor our . . . graduates! It is a common known fact that (name of church) youth group is the lovingest, most awesomest youth group ever did draw a breath. Why I just heard that our youth group is famous in the likes of Abilene, Dallas and New York City!

Off-stage voices: Really?

Host: Well, maybe not New York City

.Off-stage voices: In Dallas?

Host: Well, maybe I let myself kinda . . .

Off-stage voices: But we are famous in Abilene?

Host, annoyed: Fine then, but I do know we are a household name in (name of tiny little nearby town)!

Off-stage voices: Woo hoooooooo! Doesn’t get much better than that!

Host: Yes, well, anyway. Welcome, welcome, one and all! Welcome to . . . (drum roll, host reacts, covers his ears, talks louder)

Host: I said . . . welcome to “Behold the Graduate!” A pleasant walk down memory lane as we revisit some of the high points . . . and low . . . of our 2004 graduates from . . . (name of church) youth group!

Crowd noise, applause, whistling. Note: use names of actual graduates

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