Description

Need a delicate way to ask your audience members to . . hold all calls . . . while your presentation is running? How do you ask that lovely mother of nine, to please contain her children in the nursery area instead of center stage?This brief drama puts a comedic spin on the typical director's speech to the audience.

Sample of script:

** Note – certain details of this script may have to be altered to fit your performance.

Scene opens as both actors enter from stage right. They move to center stage where they will remain for the remainder of the drama.

Phillip, (very serious): Good evening, everyone. We welcome you to tonight’s presentation. My name is, (with flair), Phillip von Lichtenfoldercotinootadoor. Joining me now, is . . .

Barry, (interrupting, confused): What did you say yer name was?

Phillip: Why of course, I am Phillip von Lichtenfoldercotinootadoor!

Barry: Likton . . . Liktonfooo . . .

Phillip: No, no! Here – it is simple! (Grabs Barry’s mouth and helps him form the word.) Lich – ten – folder – cotinootadoooooooor. Yes, that’s it! You see, my great-grandfather shortened our name when he moved to this country. Otherwise it would really have been a mouthful!

Barry: Yeah, okay, sure.

Phillip: Pardon our brief departure, ladies and gentlemen. Now we . . .

Barry: Wait a minute! I thought we just interrupted yer speech!

Phillip: Yes, Barry. But I’ve actually been given the honor of addressing our fine crowd in a brief yet poignant oratory on the benefits of focusing one’s full attention to the activity which will soon unfold as long-prepared before their very eyes.

Barry: But, I thought we were just supposed to tell ‘em not to blow their noses while we’re up here trying to remember our lines!

Phillip, (aggravated): Thank you, Barry, for practically choking away any shred of refinement left in this already difficult delivery!

Barry, (confused): Yer welcome?

Phillip: Ladies and gentlemen, please understand that Frederick Donwinkelhorst was originally slated to do this speech, but . . .

Barry: Donna-who? Haven’t you people ever heard of Smith or Jones?

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