Description

Dealing with the stress at Christmas, “Christress.”

Christress, how it can have such an overwhelmingly negative impact, particularly on women. Getting back to the real reason for celebrating Christmas, which is a proven “Cure for the Common Christress.”

Cast: 3 females

• Chris  is stressed
• Donna  is very stressed
• Jan looks forward to Christmas

Bible Reference: Ephesians 3:10-12
Set:

• Shelves with children’s toys
• Walmart logo

Sound: wireless mic
Song: none
Lighting: as available
SFX: none
Props:

• doll and other toys
• glass of water, (water can be mimed)

Costumes: standard
Special Instructions:
Time: 15

Sample of script:

Chris rushes on stage, looks at watch, throws up hands, looks up, shakes head, talks to herself

Chris: Almost noon! And I gotta pick up Bobbie at ballet at one-thirty!
OK, so how am I supposed to get the rest of my shopping finished, pick up the laundry, fill the car with gas, pick up a tree and mail off the cards, all in less than half an hour?
(examines doll on the shelf)
Oh, here it is! Crying Cora doll. Crying Cora, the only gift Jenna will consider, let alone accept.
(looks at price tag, reacts)
Forty-eight dollars and ninety-seven cents! Some over-paid executive in the Rip-off department of some toy manufacturing plant comes up with the name: Crying Cora!
Sure she is! Paying forty-eight dollars and ninety-seven cents for a doll, it’s the moms that are crying, not Cora!
For that price the least you should expect is that Cora should come complete with an annuity.
(looks at merchandise)
Will you look at this junk! And the kids demand it! I mean, they see it plastered all over the TV. How is a mom supposed to say “no” when an advertising program that cost as much as the gross national product of most industrialized countries whips the hearts and minds of our children into wanting a Crying Cora?
And the stores! You would think that any decent, sane-thinking store would put toys at the back of the store, in an area accessible only by children over sixty-seven, and then only if accompanied by both parents. But no! Right there! Smack dab at the front doors, where every kid is going to stumble over Crying Cora and her little friend, Muscles Morris! How’s a parent supposed to win?
Walmart! The home of everyday low prices! Yeh, right!

Donna comes on stage, looking around, sees Chris who is still mumbling away

Donna: Chris? What’s wrong? Why are you talking to yourself?

Chris, out of control, screaming: I can not take it any more! I can not go on like this!

Donna, takes Chris by shoulders, shakes her: Chris! What is going on? Get a hold of yourself!

Chris: It is inhumane! No human being should ever have to be put through this kind of torture!

Donna gets right in Chris’s face, talks very slowly, deliberately

Donna: Listen to me Chris. It is me, Donna, I am here, everything will be alright. Just take deep breaths . . Breathe in . . . . Now out . . . Quietly. Again now.

Chris takes deep breaths, starts to get under control

Donna: Now then, isn’t that better. Calm . . . .

Chris: Much, much better. Donna, you are nothing but a life saver! For a minute there I thought I was going to . . .

Chris starts to shudder and cry silently

Donna: No, Chris, you must control yourself! Control . . . breathe . . . control!

Chris: I can do this. I can, I really can do this . . I mean, I must, after all . . .

Donna: Of course you can Chris! Now tell me, what caused this anxiety attack?

Chris, dabs at tear with hanky: Christress.

Donna, confused: Christress?

Chris, begins to weep again: Yes! Christress.

Chris is now weeping uncontrollably

Donna: No more of this, you will control yourself Chris . . . look, everyone in the store is staring at you!

Chris, crying: I do not care . . I am . . Christressed!

Donna, totally confused: Let me get this straight . . . you are . . Christressed?

Chris, sobbing: I . . can . . not. . . go . . on!

Donna: You must stop this! . . . I said, stop this! . . . Fine then, . .

Donna looks around, picks up glass of water, throws it in Chris’s face

Donna: I did not want to do that Chris! But you left me no choice, and as my old mother always said, “tough times bring on tough methods”!

Chris, licking water from lips, big smile: Thanks you, thank you Donna! I am a better woman for that! I can go on!

Donna, looks around, embarrassed: Yes, well, I am sure you can, but perhaps bringing your voice down about eighteen decibels would make for less of a scene here in the toy department at Walmart.

Chris: Oh, sorry, yes, of course. I am OK now, I am quite . . .

Donna: Now that you seem to be approaching rational, mind telling me what this . . what was it . . Christress . . . was all about?

Chris: Christress. The stress of Christmas.